HOW TO LOVE

WELCOME TO LOVE MONTH!

First I want to say - I am NOT a sucker for marketing and manufactured promotions... 

Yes, maybe it's the remnants of working for a greeting cards company back in the day...

But February is LOVE month. 

For me I just like an excuse for a clean slate again! 
January can be a bit slow going, especially after the holidays. Plus Chinese New Year is February 8th this year - so more eating for my family and a good excuse for another New Year beginnings.

If you need another do over - February can be your clean slate again. :)

Do you think of February as LOVE month? What does that bring up for you?

Ok, forget LOVE month in a Valentine’s Day kind of way. 

 

let’s treat february as the month you really get going on what you love

All the good intentions (and to be honest, high and unrealistic expectations) set in January starts to fall away by February. 

You start to see what you can realistically achieve, what you actually remember to priorities. 

Where the resistance and obstacles are in your journey. The steps you'll need to build those new habits that the 'new you' WILL DOto create the life you love in 2016. 

ok... stay with me here… i want you think of it this way. 

In the end, our goals and desires all come down to love. In one way or another, we are all seeking to be loved and to love. 

To do what we love, to be with those we love, to be surrounded by what you love - all to create a life of joy, happiness and … well yeah! LOVE

When we have conflict with another person, when miscommunication happens - it’s usually because one party didn’t feel heard, or seen. And thus not understood. We all want to be loved!

 

In order to help us have more love in our lives - one of the first things we have to do is to listen. 

Listen to the other person without any agenda. To really see and hear their heart

 

to listen is to connect.

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Also listen to yourself - knowing the difference between the voice of your ego, and the voice that loves you and believes in you.

 

Your higher self, Holy Spirit or your soulful intuition

The term doesn’t matter here. You know deep down what that voice sounds like. 

are you allowing space and stillness to listen?

This kind of listening sometimes requires stepping outside your comfort zone. Stepping into a weird grey area and letting go of baggage. And really just getting really still. 

Get quiet and really still. Allow that little voice to speak. THEN actually listen to it. 

Only then can you also connect with yourself and get going on creating that life you love. 

Because that voice? Usually has something awesome and wise and usually surprisingly simple but profound to say to you. 

Caveat: This is always in a good loving way. 
If at any point that voice says something that makes you feel less than, suggests anything sinister or against your values like hurting people or yourself… ignore that voice and get still again. 

As my mentor Jana Kingsford says - that voice that tells you you're not good enough and should just stop because you're a loser? 

That voice is a terrorist and we DON'T negotiate with terrorists. 

Binge eating chocolate is SO not for your higher good. 

 

so get still and listen.

But Man!… that’s hard though right? I’m still trying to practice this. I made the mistake of thinking, vegging out in front of the tv was a way to be quiet and still. 

But no. there was no space to allow that little voice to speak. 

I always get too caught up in the story. How can you find your inner stories if you’re too busy following someone else? 

The same goes for Facebook. URGH! Don't get me started.

So when I finally did - it was uncomfortable to have no control over timing. To surrender to what could come up and not the exact thing that I want to come up. 

I’ve have lots of ideas and projects I want to achieve this year. 

But I’m also feeling the call to create space and surrender control. 

In order to practice this, it means I may have to surrender some ideas and projects for the dreaded - later. 

For this Type A, let me just say it’s a tad bit SUPER ANNOYING

*Deep breath*

Some of those projects though? have nothing to do with my business and more to do with my life. There was little notes of warning to not let go of the other pieces of my life puzzle. Surprising ideas too… Another story for another time!

One of those suggestions? 
This practice of writing these letters to you.
Posting my heart and thoughts on the blog.

Being vulnerable in sharing more than just the finished artwork.

But also the fragile, under layers and unfinished bits. The parts that normally gets tidied up and put away so it’s unseen at the end.

What if I come across as a crazy, rambling unprofessional person? what if everyone hates me and thinks I’m a loser? what if no one actually cares and I’m just wasting my time? what if it makes those people who kinda love now kinda hate me?

then i remembered - stay still and listen. don't negotiate with terrorists.

I want to create a space of my own - that I LOVE and can relax in. Where I can feel seen and heard without trying to be someone else. 

In turn, I'll gather a community of amazing people to allow them space to be seen and heard.
A circle of people I would LOVE to hang out with and meet in person, who know how to give love and compassion and gentleness. 

They wouldn’t laugh AT me.

Definitely WITH me, (will maybe at me with kindness). Especially with all the fumbling, rambling thoughts and ideas this imperfect girl will have. Plus we so LOVE to laugh. 

 

ONTO THE NEW WALLPAPER FOR THIS MONTH!    

(These wallpapers were created exclusively for Insider members - Sign up to the Insider Library here ...it's FREE to join
You'll get access to artwork to make your screens / desktops beautiful and inspired spaces + get first dibs on specials and studio news)

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NEW WALLPAPER - THE FIRST DUTY OF LOVE IS TO LISTEN

So if I haven’t already, thank you for joining me.  Thank you for being part of this inner support circle. 

By reading, you're 'listening' to my story and sharing LOVE with me -- I don't take that for granted. 

You make my little corner of the internet a colourful and lovely place to hang out.I hope my artwork not only bring joy for your eyes but also for your heart.

may this wallpaper be a beacon to remind you of your capacity to love and listen, to connect with others and yourself.

x Brenda

p.s I visited the beautiful lady & collector of this month's original painting in her home. I'm clearly a better painter than photographer (those are new paintings in the corner I brought over for show and tell and didn't see to remove :P) 

How nice does Dreaming of Spring look standing so proudly in the living room? 

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Madison Whiteneck