DEAR INDIGO : 4 MONTHS

Dear Indigo, It's such a cliche but wow! Time HAS flown by! You're so grown up now - I look back at our photos of you when you arrived and I almost don't recognise the little tiny baby I held that afternoon 4 months ago.  You were so little and delicate. Now you've grown into such a beautiful little girl. You learnt quickly, this new world with its strange sights and sounds. Mama's had to learn quickly too, though my clothes got extra washes those first few weeks from your surprise nappy explosions! It was a tough first couple months - I won't deny it. Some days I really struggled as I was learning how to be your mama. Some days I went to bed in tears, you and I hadn't quite worked out the whole sleeping, feeding routine. But we made it through, you and I. We're both getting better at our new dance together. You've been sleeping a lot better these days. Though I won't be making the mistake of thinking it will be like this forever! You change so quickly, so I'm just going to enjoy the good days. And what good days we have! When you smile at us, oh your smile! Daddy and I just melt and explode at the same time with such joy - we have to laugh. We will make whatever silly faces and sounds just to see your big smile. We're like addicts, we will do anything for one more beautiful Indigo smile. Everyone is still talking about how much hair you have - I can't wait to plait it and put it up in piggy tails. It won't be long now! though you keep positing and vomiting after your feeds, so cleaning up the spit up from your hair isn't as fun. You are funny little thing though, you don't fuss at all when all that vomit comes up. Sometimes I wonder if you're doing it on purpose! Smiling at me as the milk dribbles out the corner of your mouth. Such a cutie! I can't get enough of your cheeky cheeks and I'm forever kissing them all the time. You've taken to closing your eyes now because mama kisses you so much all over you face. I can't get enough! During my sleepy days, sometimes I feel bad because I'm so tired I get lazy and we don't get to go out much. Though you don't seem to mind, you seem to enjoy watching a little tv with me. Though not for long, you love being carried around the house too much to let me sit for long. I love watching your face and eyes as you marvel at the way the leaves on the trees in the garden dance in the wind. You're still too shy to reach out to them yet. But I imaging you won't be for long. You've started to be more confident with your hands grabbing mine. I love it when your hands search for mine as I change your nappy. I give you your spew towel to hold but you don't want just anything to hold, I realise you are specifically wanting to hold my hand. (well, about two fingers of my hand) When you do get a grip, you look straight into my eyes with the sweetest smile and sweetheart?! your mamma just melts in a huge puddle of love for you. Oh bubba! do you know ho much you are loved? You are so so loved. You are so lovely and so beautiful and so feisty and so adoringly impatient. You know what you want and aren't afraid to demand it - and loudly. You are teaching your daddy and I huge doses of patience and kindness, we are really learning & practicing kindness and compassion especially for each other as well as for this new life you have brought us into. I'm so grateful to God for this perfect gift that is you - I'm still a little scared some days I won't be good enough. But I don't want to forget, this privilege to be your mama. Thank you for choosing me to be your mama. with all my love & huge kisses xo mama

*** see more cheeky photos of Indigo over on Instagram or Facebook