FLYING THE NEST. – I QUIT MY JOB.
"Those who wish to sing always find a song." ~swedish proverb
When you read this, I would have been one week into a new chapter in this game of life. I've left a fantastic 'Day Job 9-5ver' in order to pursue 'something-myself-online-thing-that-will-involve-art-and-stuff'. I took a week off to get away from the computer to sleep in and indulge in the luxury of bumming around doing nothing but eat & sleep. It almost feels like a graduation day. The fear of the unknown is there. The tingle at the possibilities is there… and the shiver of facing something scary and unknown and the vast possibilities that the potential of it all...OVERWHELMS. MY. MIND. I thought I was going to do the usual creative moonlighting thing, or the weekend business on the side kind-of-thing, or the wait until I'm so wildly successful that the 'thing on the side' takes over the day job thing. All the things you do that seems sensible and rational and helps curb the twin-headed monster that is fear of uncertainty & the unknown with a big sidekick of 'what if you are a COMPLETE FAILURE and end up homeless and eating from bins?' Sometimes though, we have stuff that just ain't 'sensible'. I also knew that with this job, it had become VERY comfortable, very much the safety net that we all seek in security. I knew I was just procrastinating and sitting on my hands spouting excuses. It didn't help that usually I just didn't have the energy after a long day of mental creative work to summon the energy to do anything else either. I loved my job, really I did. I gave it all I had and even with it's frustrations and irritations, the creativity and the people made it a dream job. Except I didn't want a J-O-B. I wanted to create. I wanted to find my own song to sing. Though I could have continue waiting for this elusive perfect timing, or waited until the end of the year and 'start fresh'. Changes were falling into place at work and and there really was no giant obstacle in my way to start NOW. It didn't fit my rational-what-everyone-else-sensibly-does plan but I felt so much peace handing in that letter of resignation. Arguably maybe I 'shouldn't' but it wasn't because I 'couldn't', and that has made all the difference. Sometimes, taking a leap of faith means seizing an opportunity even if it wasn't at your timing. Sometimes you need to put your faith in the journey, even if it leads to "failure". As my husband -- my biggest support & head cheerleader -- reminded me so sagely (paraphrased), "No matter where you end up, the place you end up in is going to still be a place of growth. It will be better than where you are now, because you are expanding and reaching out. Even if the destination isn't quite what you hoped for, you wouldn't be going backwards. Staying because you're scared or comfortable would deny yourself that" So I'm stepping out in faith and moving forward towards a newer and bigger dream, trusting that I can look back and connect the dots that seemingly looks disconnected and 'irrational'. I'm hoping this day will inspire all those people out there with a desire to sing their song, or maybe even a secret song they already know but are too scared to sing. I'm hoping this day finds you. Be inspired, take that fear with you on your journey and trust in the dots connecting. I hope you'll join me in this adventure and it'll encourage you to nurture the creativity inside you and let it sing.. ———————————————— comment zen… (inspired by havi)This is part of my new practice of expressing myself creatively. This reveal is something that’s hard for me and requires love, patience and grace.What I really appreciate: being acknowledged (and maybe even cheered on) for being in the process. I like it when you say yay, you!What I can’t deal with right now: any form of critique. I’m not interested in knowing about how I can do better or what I’ve misspelled. Maybe later on. Right now this is about me and my baby step process. Thanks muchly!”