It's Spring here, new buds are blooming. A time traditionally of new life, stretching out from winter. Yet I am slowly retreating into a kind of hibernating mode. Normally I would feel guilty for not being 'productive enough' (whatever that means). Seeing my endless to do list as a heavy burden of 'shoulds' and 'have tos' But lately, I'm indulging in letting it go without guilt! It's a big thing for me - I hate feeling lazy (which for me = 'not being good enough, doing enough, not being perfect). But now I'm practicing simple routines of self-care. Being mindful of how my body feels. Doing little things that feels like I'm flowing (easily) with what needs to be done, rather than fighting against the grain of shoulds and musts. I think I am practicing surrendering. Surrendering to changes in my body, my mind and my perspective of my life & family. Looking forward to Bubba's arrival. By going slowly with the flow of things, I'm learning to forgive my pregnant brain's slowness. Learning to embrace the fear of the unknown with a kind of nervous excitement + buzzy anticipation. It's resulted in a calmer mindset + increased creativity.Normally I'm fighting, rushing forward. That came from a place of fear that if I don't get my perfect to do list done, the opportunity will disappear! Disaster will strike! I will fail and everyone will point at me and laugh! The horror! The horror! etc... But I'm realising that actually, no, the art is still here. Giving time and space to what works for me now has resulted in increased depth in my work. I've allowed the work time to mature. I'm allowing play + time spent with my muse, which has led me down different solutions to what I would get when I rush through madly avoiding fear. The results? More fun and better work. All this retreating and playing has meant I'm working on a few projects before I wind down for maternity leave. I hope to share them with you soon. Previously I would have more concrete details. Now, I'll have to ask you to indulge me in a little flexibility. To flow with me as the work grows and develops in its own time. I'll be updating Society members first so be sure to sign up!xo
What are you practicing this new season? What can you surrender and allow time + space for?