More photos from China in smaller towns around ShangHai. It was refreshing to see things in a different light. I also mean that literally, the sky was always that smoggy/hazy/white. I never saw blue sky during my 10 days there. It really affected the colours and atmosphere of the environment. Eerie and enclosed.

I'm still recovering from my whirlwind trip in ShangHai & KL.  So I thought I'll share  some images that are feeding my image-well in my creative mind. (thanks to the Hipstamatic App on my iphone)

Sing" it says: 'she finally released herself to sing

I wanted to share an inspirational interview with Pete Eckert, who demonstrates to me something that echos a quote I love from Mark McGuinness' post about creative blocks (I received some coaching from him. He's great!)

A creative person is a person who creates things.

It saddens me when I hear people say to me: "Oh, I'm not creative!" or "I'm not that creative" When you create something, whether it's a visual piece of art or mini ornaments from office supplies, you're being 'creative'! Please don't get hung up on being creative = must create a masterpiece like the Mona Lisa

| Artists Wanted | In Focus : Pete Eckert from Artists Wanted on Vimeo.

Don't let your own fears, doubts or the standard world view stop you from expressing yourself. Find your song. Whatever that may be like. Pete has had to learn to 'see' differently. Whether it's his visual art, or making bread, he still continues to pursue his desire to create. I love stories like this! It's more than just the novelty of Pete's disability. It's having our logical, rational, everyone-knows-this-to-be-true mindset be rejected; allowing an expansion of our idea of what 'is possible'. So create something, even if you think it's so small it doesn't count. My mum calls it 'living in your own coconut shell' -- until you choose to come out of it, you're stuck in a very small, very limited world. Something you may think is small, can be enough to nudge yourself out of your little coconut shell and see a bigger view!

WILL YOU 'BE CREATIVE' TODAY?

xo brenda

This is a quick hello!

FISHY ANGLE, Acrylic on canvas, 14 x 14inches, ©2010 Brenda Mangalore/ Sashé Studio

I'm working on a few things behind the scenes while working on what I'm want 2011 to look like. I'm looking forward to more travel, hanging out with friends and sticking to my body-rhythm-friendly work schedule. Less fear & insecurity and deeper relationships. So basically more good stuff and less bad stuff. *grin* xo brenda p.s Have you seen my new Sashe Studio Shop yet? Come on over and get yourself some LOVE!

My first prints are available in my little shop! Drawing LOVE is a highly detailed hand drawn doodling design by actual pen! I spent almost 10 hours to create the original - pbew! - with lots of cookies & cups of tea to keep me going. The LOVE print comes with a little extra specialness - personalised with lovers names & a special date. Perfect for Weddings or Anniversaries, though I think they make great 'just because' gifts for your loved ones. Come on over & Give a Gift of LOVE! :)

[Edit: Prints available now!]merry christmas! As 2010 draws to a close, I hope you can look back on the year and reflect on it with the gratitude and wonder I have. I know I am in a little disbelief that the year has gone by so quickly, yet so much has changed this year. I have become a wife and embarked on that new adventure. Just 6 months ago, this journey to fly solo as a fine artist was just a dream, a distant possibility and secret wish. So to you, my dear friends, know this: your secret wishes and dreams are whispering to you for a reason. They long to exist for real and trust me when I say, all change is scary but the journey IS filled with the joy that those whispers are promising.

A time lapse video -- drawing Mark 12:30. 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' I took a break half way through drawing because my hand was hurting after an hour straight of concentrated drawing. It was another hour before I finished the drawing. phew! The irony is, it took longer for me to work out how to do all the video things and upload things and editing etc.. It isn't the most profound or flashy. Lots of lessons learnt that will be used for the next video. I am, however quite chuffed with myself for working out how to do it at all. It was frustrating when there were technical difficulties with youtube AND iMovie and wishes for more specialness & effects. In the end, I figured, better done than nit-picking at perfection! Materials: Black Pitt pen on bleed proof paper. The type design can be seen through the paper to save time on tracing just for this video. Music: 'Even the Stones Sing' by Bluetech. photo by dbpwhooosh Enjoy! Love the drawing? You can buy a 5x7in Mark 12:30 print in my shoppe!{p.s This video premiered in my November 2010 newsletter. If you don’t want to watch old news after everyone else, sign up here!}

My first drawings for the shop (opening soon!) [Edit: Prints available now!] When I was younger, I would spend a lot of time doodling away in my journal/sketchbook/visual diary. Not sketching. Just doodling & scribbling doodles of nothing figurative. The thing was, I really enjoyed the creation I was participating in. It was meditative and semi-conscious. I didn't plan where the lines would go, I just kept drawing these lines & squiggles. Its almost like some secret language I was ferociously writing but have no idea what it was saying. So for my first drawing, I thought, since this is my new life, new direction of embracing my creativity, I would go back to doodling. BUT I wanted to tap into my design-life too, my new love affair with type. At the same time, I wanted to create art that isn't just beauty for the eyes, but beauty for the mind & soul. I'm passionate about self-development and this new life has allowed me to really dive into my spirituality & relationship with God. So yay! to encouragement & self-growth as well as prettiness.

love:

As love is the genesis of my new life; the love & encouragement from my loved ones without whom I wouldn't be starting this new 'art thing'.  I thought it best to start with that.

a closeup of the drawing

 I've been slowly fanning a flame of passion for type and my art tends to be about all the little details. It matches my interest in self-growth, noticing all the little details that contributes to the whole. I included other words that I would associate with love -- 'faith' (can you see it in the closeup?),'laugh', 'forgive', 'trust' & 'hope'. These  drawings also plays on the relationships between the negative and positive spaces. Some people prefer to only focus on the positives in life, while some tend to be negative nellys. I think it's best to accept that life will always have both, it kinda needs both in a way and to experience it fully we have to embrace both. So I like how the drawings itself has a life of it's own, with little details and words to take notice of, yet there is something in the negative spaces too. I'm thinking of starting with just the four colours for the shop. Any suggestion for others? There may even be some personalization for couples & families to include their names or special dates . It would be a great gift for Christmas or weddings! Oui? Let me know what you think in the comments! {p.s These drawings debuted in my October newsletter. If you don’t wanna be told old news after everyone else, sign up here! The November issue is coming out soon}

I've been noticing the concept of Wabi-sabi floating around recently, probably due to my challenge to begin and finish work. By challenge I mean, learning to fight ignore my inner critic and tendency to chase perfection. So this struggle has had me thinking about my creative work and pursuing the creative life; in return life re-introduced me to the idea of wabi-sabi. (plus Dr Brene' Brown's Perfect Protest) Wabi-sabi is a Japanese view, or aesthetic based around the acceptance of transience. The idea is seeing beauty in the incomplete, impermanent or imperfect, because nothing is ever complete, permanent or perfect. I love this idea. Some things never really reach that perfect point. Especially when creating art, there is always room for improvement, tweaks and adjustments. I don't think there is anything wrong with striving for your best, I deeply believe we should grow and reach our highest potential.  Perfection on the other hand can be extremely oppressive. It hinders the ability to stop planning and tweaking and just live that dream life of yours already. Maybe what you're working on is just fine as it is, no it's not perfect, but it'll do. Put that creative work out into the world; infuse your life with that creative thing already.

The image above is a painting in progress. The arrows came out when I was trying to find that perfection spot and realized I was paralyzed with the pressure. I find that the pursuit of the creative life has so many possibilities and directions. So does the pursuit of perfection, which can be overwhelming. So when I did let it go, these arrows appeared to remind me of all the different directions that life pulls me but I should let go, step back, and see the whole picture.

Philosophy aside, I also really relate to the aesthetic. There is a certain beauty in the little bumps and cracks that is around us. It seems to be seeped in time, and age adds its own beauty to life. This, I think is why I love polaroids. I love them for their random-ness, I can't control much and there is a little thrill in letting go. One click and the photo spits out whether you're ready or not. The little imperfections ARE their perfection. I've heard about Hipstamatic for iPhone, and couldn't resist it's old school charm. It's based on the effects of an old plastic camera. With different 'lenses' and 'flashes' that create beautiful, dreamy, scratchy effects. (they are responsible for some of the scratchy-ness of the image above and in my birthday post) I look at this aesthetic philosophy as looking at the 'not so perfect' parts of life to find something beautiful about it. It's more than just seeing the silver lining in a situation or "finding the lesson" and all that fluffy feel good stuff. Sometimes life isn't quite what you thought it should be, especially when you're trying to infuse more creativity into it. We can get hung up on what the proper or best looks like, but I find looking for the beauty in the 'imperfect' can help you let go and enjoy. That's also usually when creativity flows more naturally anyway. Are there anything in your life you can look at with fresh eyes and see the beauty? {image by Sashe Studio -- painting in progress. }

It was my birthday last week (25th Oct) , my amazing husband organized a secret sleepover in Rye, a little town near the beach. There was a hammock, a dog beach, good food & wine with a stop over at the peninsula hot springs for 2 hours of blissful relaxation!

My kind of birthday. We even came home in time to have Peking Duck with my family. All in all, it was a simple birthday but filled with the best kinds of joys.

in search of a dog beach

in search of a dog beach

found! leash free beach in safety beach

mr mangalore in the sunlight"

birthday breakfast - lemon tart & fruit toast

my view of happiness

thanks hubby! My life has a hollywood-happy-ending type happiness with you by my side. xoxo

{I'm still working on setting up shop. There are so many little things I need to organise that it's getting a little frustrating, but I'm just going to try and enjoy the process. My first newsletter is also due to go out  in a couple days with sneak peeks at my first lot of drawings. Don't miss out by signing up here.}

I have this pull-out poster of a bear-suited person from frankie magazine on my wall. I tend to just go "Oooh pretty!" and keep images without paying too much attention to who the author/originator is. Many times, I've seen a movie on tv, loved it but won't remember the title of the movie. I'm also bad with knowing the real names of actors... I digress. I found some beautiful works today and it reminded me of my poster. 

bear (the poster on my wall)

Of two minds

Turns out it was by the same artist! Jennifer Davis, a painter of dreamy, surreal & gorgeous images from Minneapolis, USA. I love the quiet tension in her works. It's kinds cute without being cutesy and there is a floating, deeper something else in her work. I like the 'something else'.

float ( i love this one)

Her works are mainly in acrylic, graphite & charcoal on paper or hardwood. It's feeding my inspiration bank, especially the use of paper & the floating quality. I've been thinking about both lately. note to self: pay attention to works you really like. It may feed your inspiration bank, which, is necessary because you never know how it may combine with all the other stuff in you to inspire you just when you need it. Jennifer has a blog of her available paintings & works on paper. There is also her etsy shop, and her website. p.s Are you on my newsletter list? You can get these posts straight to your inbox PLUS  sneak peeks 0f any news in my studio AND first dibs on any specials!Totally win-win my friend; who wouldn't want first dibs?

morning moment: {def.} a note of art, thoughts or creative prettiness to start the day.

20 mins pose - A3

20 mins pose - A3. charcoal

5 mins poses - square cardstock. pencil"

10 mins pose - A3. charcoal

20 mins pose - A3. charcoal"

I found this photo from the first blog I dabbled in with my brother. This was before facebook became the place for the family to keep in touch. It didn't last long, but in hindsight, it really was my first taste into this online blog-world-thingymajig.

walking down the aisle {photo by gallant lee}

dad & ajja mangalore {photo by david mcarthur}

Happy father's day Pa, Kaiyeh, my hubby's Dad & grandpa Ajja and to all the fathers out there - Hope you have a special day!

Recently, I am learning to have fun with my art and treat it as play.  To embrace the ambiguity; let the paintbrush reveal it's secret in it's own time. I am reminded that I'm a future thinker, future oriented. That is I plan ahead, I envision what could be and it's hard to snap back to the reality of now. Now isn't there yet, there that happy place where my dreams are. There is still doing to be done before what could be, becomes what is.  I get frustrated at not being where I want to be, so I am learning to embrace the unknown; the now and all that zen.

"i think this is finished..."No.4 red & blue

It's like Lord, why can't I have it now?! I know, I know, it's about trust, learn to have faith in Your plan and to let it happen in Your time. I need to surrender my control over everything. So I'm learning patience too. To do the doing and take each.step.one.at.a.time. I still get to make lists & plan ahead (yay!) but not so far ahead that it overwhelms me with the bigness of it all.

i wonder what this will be..."

{images by sashe studio's iphone}

SO WHILE I CREATE, I OCCASIONALLY PROCRASTINATE...

I'm fully aware that I procrastinate in order to avoid the present in order to indulge in daydreams of the future (or past.). That's why I try to do something 'productive' and involve some creative practice in my procrastination too. (I say that now, though sometimes I will just eat chocolate and indulge in traveling down the wormhole that is the millions of amazing articles online. Or daytime tv.) Knowing I have these tendencies means I can work with them, indulge in a little postponed productivity but still develop my creative practice (my goal). This only comes from lotsa contemplation & self-observation. So I bring out my polaroid cameras, and try to take 'arty' photos instead of just photos of Jelly. Being such an expensive medium, it does limit my mindlessness and force a little thinking in composition and creativity. Learning to find the beauty & sacredness in the everyday around me. All good things to have for the practice of seeing. Afterall, art or drawing or painting is all a way to see the world right?

SO... ?

Sometimes when you're frustrated, it means it's time to take a step back to see the disconnection. Maybe you're too focused on the end goal and not enjoying the process. Or you haven't spent the time to know what you want. So you head in the wrong direction & your intuition is telling you to watch out! These little niggly irritations could be nuggets of introspection & self-knowledge waiting for you to find. :)

REDBUBBLE UPDATE

I've updated my redbubble site with those recent polaroids. (See I was a little productive!) Photos seem so easy sometimes, point & click then upload. While painting seems to take it's sweet time to reveal itself. I feel a little sad I don't have finished pieces to show. All part of the story that is yet to unfold I guess.

These were plucked fresh from my garden.

Jelly knows the drill. Pose properly and it will be over faster = more play time.

They remind me of The Wizard of Oz. Walking on an adventure somewhere.

{these polaroids are available as a greeting card, postcard or prints on my redbubble site. Click the image to check it out!}

What have you been learning lately about yourself?

p.s Did you enjoy this post?  If you did, please use the buttons below to share the joy! Check out my redbubble site and help spread the love about my art. It'll totally make my day! p.p.s While you're at it, you might also like to sign up by email to receive free updates in your inbox or subscribe to my RSS feedThanks muchly for your support!

morning moment: {def.} a note of art, thoughts or creative prettiness to start the day.

CLASS - 5 AUG 2010

20mins pose - A3. A favourite I think. The acrylic paper had a nice canvas texture, I got lucky with the angle and I like that my attempts at the ribs didn't make her look like she got savaged by a beast. Plus I'm tres happy with the way the foot turned out. 

CLICK HEREfor more life drawings by moi!

20mins pose - A3. I'm not so happy with the face (why do I draw them so angry?) but the hands turned out better than I'd hoped.

CLASS - 12 AUG 2010.

1min poses - A2. very quick sketches, nice to practice focus on tension & angles. Focusing on where the weight falls helps me to pick which lines to draw.

2mins poses - A2. great for developing the discipline to mark the most informative lines.

10 mins pose - A2. I really struggled with the bigger size. A different model, she wasn't as able to sit as still as the previous model. I really enjoyed her bangs, it gave great depth & shadows to her face.

10 mins pose - A2. I'm not sure if I struggle with the bigger size due to a lack of practice, or the inability to see the whole picture at that scale. this is not a favourite. It's educational to see the bad with the good I guess.

A3. I went back to the more familiar smaller size. foreshortening is a hard beast. I swear her foot looked that small compared to her thighs.

20 mins pose - A3. note: don't spend too much time being hung up on one or two areas, and forget the bigger picture. Like making sure you've captured the composition you wanted, and that your proportions are accurate."

20mins pose - A3. Not a good one - an example of bad composition, which didn't give it the framing & space. This meant proportions didn't turn out right because of subconscious cramming. Plus all the time spent on proportions meant the face became flat due to neglect.

{photo & drawings by sashe studio}

As it's been a little over a month since I've been flying solo, there has been a few interesting learnings & tidbits in this new adventure. I know... who knew you could learn so much in just 30 days. It turns out there are a few insights, relizations and whatnot to be had. Here is four I've come to learn ( or learnt to acknowledge):

1. Curiousity: People seem to be extra interested to know 'what I've been up to'. There are a few varieties: Some are more of the 'what did you do today?' or the 'so how's the art thing going?' Normally when I was working a conventional 9-5ver, the extent of people curiousity ended at 'how are you?' Now they aren't satisfied with 'it's good' 'fine!' or 'just been busy'. It may just be me, but people seem to want know in greater detail my actual day-to-day activity. Sometimes this feels like added pressure to provide a comprehensive list of productive & worthy activities to justify working from home. I guess that can be a good thing as I learn to battle my inner overwhelm/critic monster -- dressed as laziness. It's good to have people interested in your work, it's better to try to work any situation that has resulted from change to your advantage. Looking at it from a different perspective tends to help. Or, ask for the support or feedback that you want to have. my to do: I'm going to assume that these people are interested in a supportive & beneficial way. Even if it's just so I can practice talking about my work in a positive way. Plus, I'm going to find people who are natural encouraging fire-starters who can pick me up when I feel down.
2. Wormholes are everywhere: It's amazing sometimes when painting that the hours will slip by, and I would have forgotten to feed or hydrate myself. Also, the variety of reading materials both online & off are dangerously becoming my time-wormholes. It's hard to let go of all the great information & resources available. I'm struggling to keep up and have come to conclusion I'll have to learn to let them go. Plus these wormholes tend to become the dress-up favourites of procrastination, which is also the mask for avoiding something scary. It's not just me right? Part of living a conscious life, is knowing your weaknesses or just general distraction monsters. There is nothing worse that feeling unproductive AND guilty because you were the cause. my to do: I'm going to keep strict reading/consuming online to just a couple hours on a couple days. Mainly the days when I just don't feel like creating & need fuel for the brain. It has been helping not being online so much the last few weeks. I've finally had the chance to do some internal thinking & reflection on my short & long term goals. I'm not as intimidated at the overwhelming amount of great work out there, plus it doesn't add to the fear of thinking I have nothing original to say. I'm going to remember that I have my own unique perspective and looking at too much of others will drown that out. Also, I'm going to be strict on my meal times too. A hungry artist is a grumpy, unproductive artist
3. Trust your intuition: I keep getting reminded of one of the reasons why I wanted to do my own thing. To have the freedom over my own time. When I try to force myself to 'be productive' and cross off certain things off my list, I end up exhausted & any painting I do feels depressing & forced. It may be a cliche but I guess it's true for me. It's best to know yourself wells. You'll know if you're just being lazy so you should do the work, or you're just having a bad brain day and need a mental rest. Mental rest days are good to do non-thinking tasks like tweaking bits of things, house chores...whatever works for you. my to do: I'm going to work WITH my rhythms and take advantage of my productive moods and do work that I want to do. I have found that I actually end up achieving more at the end of the day.
4. Rewards work: I've found that having little rewards have been amazing in motivation. Again, it may be a little obvious but I was surprised that even the smallest things like getting a fresh croissant from the bakery, or getting a 20 minute break to watch some tv has been great. They are the little reminders of the joys of working from home, being a master of my time and working to my productivity rhythms. Don't underestimate the power of the little rewards you can give yourself when you want a little motivation, or a little encouragement in whatever new adventure you're on. They don't have to be costly. They could be dual-purpose, be both a treat and on path to your dream goals. Get some sunshine with a short walk around the block, the fresh air can re-ignite the creative juices. Or go for a longer walk to the local shops (healthy) and get yourself a little pastry treat (extra mini reward). Even just a 5 minute break to read something online can also be a nice reward, or some online window shopping? I've found being allowed a day of just doing light house chores or go for a walk & a couple hours of catching up on tv shows resulted in more productive evenings or the rest of the week.It feels win-win because I got to relish in the freedom (mental health), finished chores that would have been at the back of my mind (mental & physical health) plus it re-fuels my desire to do more 'productive' work. my to do: I'm going to keep giving myself little rewards, and discover new ways to find dual purpose rewards. That may require a perspective shift: exercise = fun? I hope so.

{images by Sashe Studio} what do you think of my works in progress?

What do you think of the lessons?

Do they spark any ideas or insights on the way you work or what stops you from doing the work you want to do?

Any suggestions or ideas to add to my to dos ? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks muchly & speak soon!

"Those who wish to sing always find a song." ~swedish proverb

{image courtesy of RubensLP}

When you read this, I would have been one week into a new chapter in this game of life. I've left a fantastic 'Day Job 9-5ver' in order to pursue 'something-myself-online-thing-that-will-involve-art-and-stuff'. I took a week off to get away from the computer to sleep in and indulge in the luxury of bumming around doing nothing but eat & sleep. It almost feels like a graduation day. The fear of the unknown is there.  The tingle at the possibilities is there… and the shiver of facing something scary and unknown and the vast possibilities that the potential of it all...OVERWHELMS. MY. MIND. I thought I was going to do the usual creative moonlighting thing, or the weekend business on the side kind-of-thing, or the wait until I'm so wildly successful that the 'thing on the side' takes over the day job thing. All the things you do that seems sensible and rational and helps curb the twin-headed monster that is fear of uncertainty & the unknown with a big sidekick of 'what if you are a COMPLETE FAILURE and end up homeless and eating from bins?' Sometimes though, we have stuff that just ain't 'sensible'. I also knew that with this job, it had become VERY comfortable, very much the safety net that we all seek in security. I knew I was just procrastinating and sitting on my hands spouting excuses. It didn't help that usually I just didn't have the energy after a long day of mental creative work to summon the energy to do anything else either. I loved my job, really I did. I gave it all I had and even with it's frustrations and irritations, the creativity and the people made it a dream job. Except I didn't want a J-O-B. I wanted to create. I wanted to find my own song to sing. Though I could have continue waiting for this elusive perfect timing, or waited until the end of the year and 'start fresh'.  Changes were falling into place at work and  and there really was no giant obstacle in my way to start NOW. It didn't fit my rational-what-everyone-else-sensibly-does plan but I felt so much peace handing in that letter of resignation. Arguably maybe I 'shouldn't' but it wasn't because I 'couldn't', and that has made all the difference. Sometimes, taking a leap of faith means seizing an opportunity even if it wasn't at your timing. Sometimes you need to put your faith in the journey, even if it leads to "failure". As my husband -- my biggest support & head cheerleader -- reminded me so sagely (paraphrased), "No matter where you end up, the place you end up in is going to still be a place of growth.  It will be better than where you are now, because you are expanding and reaching out. Even if the destination isn't quite what you hoped for, you wouldn't be going backwards. Staying because you're scared or comfortable would deny yourself that" So I'm stepping out in faith and moving forward towards a newer and bigger dream, trusting that I can look back and connect the dots that seemingly looks disconnected and 'irrational'. I'm hoping this day will inspire all those people out there with a desire to sing their song, or maybe even a secret song they already know but are too scared to sing. I'm hoping this day finds you. Be inspired, take that fear with you on your journey and trust in the dots connecting. I hope you'll join me in this adventure and it'll encourage you to nurture the creativity inside you and let it sing.. ———————————————— comment zen… (inspired by havi)This is part of my new practice of expressing myself creatively. This reveal is something that’s hard for me and requires love, patience and grace.What I really appreciate: being acknowledged (and maybe even cheered on) for being in the process.  I like it when you say yay, you!What I can’t deal with right now: any form of critique. I’m not interested in knowing about how I can do better or what I’ve misspelled. Maybe later on. Right now this is about me and my baby step process. Thanks muchly!”

I love ink drawings, I love it's subtle nuances in depth and how it says so much with so little.

Kagan McLeod is a very skilled illustrator and his art has all the beautiful storytelling depth I love in ink drawings.

He has really inspired me to take up ink drawings again. Ink requires real confidence in the line you want to draw. There is no apple - z for ink! Check out his life drawings! I may try to bring some inks for the Thursday life drawing sessions and see how I go. If I can get one passable work I'll be very happy.

I wonder if I like ink so much because I tend to be tentative with my drawings which results in a messy scribbly 'style'. I really admire the confidence that ink requires; there is a strength in the line work when the artist is confident in what they are doing. I can't wait for the next session; I desperately need the practice. Plus it's my kind of meditation!

The best drawing from my first life-drawing session (since my uni days) from last thursday. taken with my iphone, please excuse the low quality.

morning moment: {def.} a note of art, thoughts or creative prettiness to start the day. I LOVE life drawing, and missed it. It was something I assumed only 'real' artists had time to do it. Had the justification to invest time for it. I attended a life drawing class last night (in eltham). It was one of those things, once I made the decision to live an artist life, opportunities came through doors that I didn't know existed. It feels like a good sign. (I didn't take a photo of the room or model cos I was too shy!)